Sales Page: Unfinishing School2024-01-02T19:08:51-08:00

Figuring out what lights you up and turns you on is hard.

Talking about it can seem impossible.

I’m here to help.

Whether it’s an unshakable sense of your own boundaries and limits, a clear calling for a certain kind of connection, the practical skills to build your chosen family, the nuts and bolts of sexual and erotic desire, or the more esoteric, “can’t-quite-put-my-finger-on-it” yearning for a life lived differently — what you want is worth creating. 

Because here’s the thing:

Your desires are normal.
Your fantasies are healthy.
Your needs are sensible.
Your boundaries are reasonable.
You are not “too much.”
And you are definitely, definitely enough. 

But it takes practice. 

This is a project that’s been brewing with me for several years now. A vision I’ve held in my heart since at least 2017, and micro-launched in 2019. Over the challenges of the past three years (including the pandemic and the deaths of both of my parents), the details have have clarified, and I’m thrilled to share them with you.

It’s called Unfinishing School. 

And you are invited.

Keep on reading to learn more, or click here to get started.

First, let’s back up a bit…

Ten years ago, I created the Good Girl Recovery Program, a 6-week course to help women and people socialized as girls to overcome people-pleasing, perfectionism and tolerating, and to start speaking up for their boundaries and what they want. It has been wildly transformative, with over 75% of participants re-taking it at least once in order to go deeper with the material.

(I still get requests for this work, despite closing its doors in 2020.)

In my workshops and courses, I’ve noticed my students asking deeply nuanced questions about boundaries, desire, asking for what you want, and building nourishing, connected, joyful relationships. They want to really get it and apply what they’ve learned in meaningful ways.

My private clients often return to me months or years later, seeking more practice and guidance around navigating boundaries, desires and building relationships on their own terms.

As I listen to you, my clients and students, I hear a desire for an opportunity to do deeper work.

Along the way, there are a number of thoughts that I keep returning to.

Boundary work is not just “one-and-done.” It is a series of ongoing practices, with refinements and discernment, that build over time.

Becoming graceful at holding your ground, while remaining open to experiences you truly want to have, requires a safe and nourishing space to be clumsy, awkward and new, especially when other people “have feelings” about what you’re doing.

The world lacks sex-positive spaces that are truly affirming of non-traditional desires, creativity and authentic relationships. The internet has first fostered, then eaten up, so many quirky, raw and  generative sex-positive communities, leaders and educators. We are all poorer for it. We need room to talk openly and freely about adult topics.

Our relationships are made harder than they need to be by concessions we make in order to “not rock the boat.” As you flex your agency, build better boundaries, and practice recovery and resilience, all of your relationships become easier.

Boundary work is not just “one and done.”

I’ve been thinking about the stories we’ve been told

(And the ones we’ve not been told…)

You are not meant to work all the time to measure your life in terms of productivity, or to crush your life force until you burn out. Rest and relaxation are necessary. Joy and pleasure are your birthright.

Women have few examples for what it can look like to be authentically powerful. We are sold models of “empowerment” that are essentially lifestyles, and not a felt, embodied sense of personal agency.

We live inside of a system that benefits certain people, and throws others under the bus. This system undermines everyone’s inner wisdom, and teaches us to doubt ourselves.

We are told contradictory stories about what success looks like, looking to the perfect relationship, the ideal career or motherhood for fulfillment. The truth is far more nuanced — and personal — than any of that. Breaking out of the boxes of compulsory heterosexuality, mandatory nuclear family, career-as-identity, or rugged individualism allows for an authentic life in connection with others, and on your own terms.

We are sold models of “empowerment” that are essentially lifestyles.

I’ve been thinking about how real change happens…

We have to practice new ways of relating, setting boundaries, speaking up and not falling into the traps the dominant culture has set for us. Real, concrete, regular practices are what create long-term, sustainable changes.

We need to see the water we’re swimming in, so we know what to avoid, and can dream into existence better ways of living, creating and relating.

We must orient toward the things that truly bring us pleasure to build lives that are sustainable. Deprivation, scarcity and shame are tools to keep us “in our place” and you cannot use them to change yourself or the world. Pleasure and joy are unique and specific to you, and cannot be co-opted for another’s agenda.

We cannot go it alone. There is a TON of lived experience and wisdom in a group of people seeking their own diverse paths through the world. When this knowledge is shared, we all make bigger moves, learn faster and feel more powerful, knowing someone else has been through it too and drawing from mutual resources.

Joy and pleasure are your birthright.

Where does this all lead?

I’m proposing a new kind of coaching program. One where everyone gets regular, meaningful practice in setting boundaries, noticing what you need, asking for what you want, navigating others’ reactions, tuning into your desires, and flexing your agency.

But in this program, we go beyond the personal, and build awareness of “the water we’re swimming in.” We’ll look specifically at how the dominant cultural expectations of women and heteronormativity shape our thinking about who we think we should be, and how to undo that. Feminist theory? Yes please. In bite-sized chunks you can integrate and actually use? Oh yes.

The whole time, we’ll be listening closely to what brings you pleasure and joy, and orienting you toward that. Because pleasure is your north star when it comes to having a life you truly love, and relationships that are truly sustaining.

Together we will practice, and practice, and practice some more. Because practices are what make it possible to set boundaries with grace, to ask for what you want, to be able to receive the gifts you’ve been waiting for, and ultimately, to be one of those people who “just know what they want.”

And we prioritize community. Because when we gather together, we bring the wisdom of our lived experiences, the knowledge of what has worked (and what hasn’t), and the opportunity to collectively imagine new worlds for ourselves.

This is a practice + community + pleasure program.

In Unfinishing School, sexuality, creativity, yearning, desire, passion, purpose + longing mix freely.

We will curl up with our laptops and a cup of tea to hash things out. Together, we will unearth clues and draw a map to your heart, building a practice of prioritizing pleasure, discovering choice, and communicating desires so you can create the kind of sex, life, and love you always wanted.

Unfinishing School is not a curriculum as such.

(And for good reason.)

We all know how it goes: You join a program, then… Life happens.

I created Unfinishing School with practice and community at the center of it, so that no matter what’s happening in your life, you can bring it here. Sure, I have a lot of educational content, and you’ll get plenty of that. But the practices and community inside of Unfinishing School will have your back, no matter what’s going on.

  • You may be working on your relationship… or coping a death of a parent.
  • You may be exploring your queerness… or navigating a difficult medical situation.
  • You may be growing a business… or figuring out how to love the body that you’re in.
  • You may be nurturing your family… or sorting out a sudden new opportunity.

Whatever life throws at you in our time together, Unfinishing School is the place for you to bring it, in all its messy realness, and get real-time support. The container is broad and deep, and you will always find something here that you can use. The content is cyclical, meaning we will continuously return to our core themes, with skills you can apply in real life.

Here’s just some of what we’ll cover…

Relationships   + Dating

Sexuality + Eroticism

Friendship + Community

Consent as Agreement

Boundaries + Limits

Tending to Your Needs

Asking for What You Want

Prioritizing Pleasure

Self-Advocacy   + Negotiation

Agency + Choice

Playfulness + Fun

Quieting the Inner Critic

Redefining Gendered Expectations

The Art of Receiving + Giving

Trusting Your Body as a Wise Ally

I really liked the variety of exercises that we did! The one that worked best for me were the archetypes but I found many others really useful.

I also really enjoyed The Living Room [online community group], where I felt I found support as well as lots of very interesting pieces of information. It was great to hear about other people’s experiences. I liked the fact that Marcia herself was very active there.

I also loved the way Marcia was so enthusiastic and personal about this program. A lot of positive energy came through the calls 🙂

Thank you so much Marcia for all the energy and intention you put into this course. I really like your personal approach, very pragmatic and fun, and I was always looking forward to the calls knowing that there would be some very exciting stuff in them as well as things to reflect upon for the week. -AB

In Unfinishing School, you get…

  • A shame-free, honesty-affirming space to explore what’s true for you
  • Practical skills to access the heart of your needs and desires, in and out of the bedroom
  • Clarity about your boundaries and limits
  • Permission and validation for your longing
  • Tools for honest, durable relationships of all kinds
  • Room to redefine gendered expectations
  • Cheerleading for your self-advocacy
  • Simple and clear language to talk about your desires
  • Accurate, nonjudgmental sex information from a compassionate expert
  • Conversations where sex, gender, alternative relationships and queerness are expected and normalized
  • Nuances about giving and receiving
  • Strategic steps to get you from here to there (even if it’s off the beaten path)
  • Teachings, tools and embodied practices you can apply to your life and relationships
  • A non-social media based community of wise peers

As with all of my live courses, if you do at least 40% of what is offered, you should start to see major shifts happening in your life. You can never “fall behind” in your own life & there is no need to “catch up.” It is okay to step away as needed. We will be here for you when you come back.

We need spaces where we can talk about and practice owning our desires, communicating boundaries and making authentic choices.

This Is For You If…

If you want to build nourishing, connected, durable relationships (including family, partners, lovers and friendships)…

If you are redefining gendered expectations for yourself…

If you want to be in a warm, accepting, growth-oriented community

If you want to maintain a clear sense of self even as life throw things your way…

If you want to be one of those people that others say “Wow she has good boundaries!” or “She always seems to know what she wants” about…

… Then Unfinishing School is for you.

The folks in this program form my “inner circle” of sorts. I will be holding space and showing up for you in the fullest way I can offer.

More specifically:

  • If you want to hang out with me for a year, this is the way to do that.
  • If you’ve taken a class or program with me in the past and want to put what you’ve learned into regular, sustained practice, this is how.
  • If you want a life of sex-positive authenticity, but you feel isolated, or want more community, this is where you will find your people.
  • If you love learning about consent, boundaries, relationships and sex and you want to go deep, this is the place for you.
  • If you want to tap into your “cool, quirky aunt” vibes or want to be a “wild, eccentric broad” when you grow up, you’re in good company.

This program is for women and people raised as girls, including trans women, cis women, straight women, queer women, women who feel kind of wobbly about being a woman, non-binary people who have been treated by the world as a girl or woman, mothers, non-mothers, AFAB butches and femmes who are creating their own genders outside of the male gaze, and gender-fluid people who spend a significant part of their days navigating social expectations of womanhood.

“Woman” is the jumping off point, not the limitation.

How It Works…

Unfinishing School is an ongoing community and practice group, with a 12-month commitment.

You’ll learn some of my most powerful practices and tools for tending to your boundaries, prioritizing pleasure, building nourishing relationships, and communicating about your desires. These include my own practices that have led people to say to me, during the most challenging times of my life, “Wow, you’re really good at knowing what you need” and “I really appreciate the clarity of your boundaries.”

  • 2 live Group Coaching Calls with Marcia each month
  • 1 monthly Study Hall (co-working sessions where you can explore practices, journal, make art or otherwise prioritize what you’re working on)
  • Weekly prompts for writing and reflection
  • A Private Online Community (aka “The Living Room”) where you can ask for and get support, connect, celebrate wins, share resources and just jam on life (and it’s not on Facebook!)
  • Access to my library of past classes, bonus courses, mini-teachings, podcast recordings, favorite books and more!
  • A weekly summary email so you don’t miss anything important

You’ll also get:

  • Monthly love letters about our most current topic
  • Enrollment in my wildly popular 4-week class, What You Really Really Want, that starts in June
  • 2 School Breaks for integration and rest, in September and over the winter holidays
  • Discounts on my other courses
  • Fun surprises throughout the year

Plus customized attention:

  • One personal 1-on-1 call with Marcia to discuss your goals and priorities for our year together
  • Spontaneous bonus videos from my kitchen, addressing your specific needs and questions
  • Personalized recommendations just for you
  • Individual coaching at a discounted rate, plus priority on my calendar

“I’ve certainly have become more outspoken, give my opinions more even when they are at odds with the opinions of others. My self confidence and self love have skyrocketed. I don’t beat myself up about things as much anymore. I don’t have to try to prove that I’m worthy of anything and that is liberating. Having permission to put my wants and needs first in my life.

Also, finding out that other women had similar stories was such a relief! I am not the only one who struggles with these issues! Marcia, I can’t thank you enough for developing this program!!!” -JR

Let’s Practice, Together

Join Unfinishing School today. Choose your best payment option below:

One Payment of $2400
4 Payments of $600

*spaced 30 days apart

12 Payments of $200

*spaced 30 days apart

(I don’t charge a mark-up for payment plans. I believe this is a predatory practice that targets people with limited means. That said, as a small business, I appreciate up-front payments whenever possible as this makes my work more sustainable. Please choose the payment plan that works best for you.)

Registration closes on Sunday April 16th.

Our first call is Wednesday, April 19th. See FAQ for exact class schedule.

I loved your direct but kind way, Marcia. I loved most your skillful ways of showing ways to better communicate, the positivity you breed and the community we created…

Also, I really love your voice. It made it really easy to listen to the recordings!!

I found the way you led the group to be really productive. Even though we were in a group, I loved thepersonalized attention (thank you for the letter mailed to me!!) on Facebook and during the calls. I really felt like you cared and wanted to get to know me and help out. That felt the most valuable. xx

Something has definitely happened. Working on boundaries. It seems I am no longer able to put up with other’s bullshit behavior! Really.

It has been exhausting to try to adapt and over-compromise to other’s shitty behavior and it seems the way I had previously been operating as any good, adapting person would do was say to myself: “Well, this doesn’t really work for me, actually I KNOW this doesn’t work for me, but maybe I can spin it if I work really hard on this so I can make it work for me because I want it (or the person, etc.) so much.”

Now it seems that if it doesn’t work for me, I just don’t want it as much and am better able to say “this doesn’t work for me.” Period. -SS

You got questions? I got answers!

What is the class schedule? When does class meet?2023-03-20T14:31:25-07:00

Our Group Calls are at 12pm Pacific / 3pm Eastern / 8pm GMT, and last 90 minutes. We meet twice a month on or near the full and new moons, which makes it possible for more folks to make the calls. We start April 19th.

Study Halls are on one Thursday most months at 12pm Pacific / 3pm Eastern / 8pm GMT.

Quarterly schedules are released one month in advance. The first quarter’s schedule is as follows:

APRIL: 

  • 19 – Orientation call
  • 27 – Study Hall

MAY:

  • 5 – Group Call
  • 19-  Group Call
  • 25 – Study Hall

JUNE: 

  • 2 – Group Call
  • 16 – Group Call
  • 21 – What You Really Really Want call
  • 28 – What You Really Really Want call
  • 29 – Study Hall

JULY:

  • 5 – What You Really Really Want call
  • 12 – What You Really Really Want call
  • 17 – Group Call
  • 27 – Study Hall

June and July  also includes the full curriculum of Marcia’s 4-week “What You Really Really Want” course, which starts June 17th. All calls are optional and classes will be recorded. August-October schedule will be released in late June. September will include our first School Break for integration and celebration. 

What’s the time commitment?2023-03-14T17:28:24-07:00

I’ve designed Unfinishing School so that you can learn and participate while LIFE is happening. Most weeks, you can expect to spend between 1 and 3 hours on content and engagement, but all of it is entirely optional.

For example, you can simply attend the Group Calls, in which case it is only 3 hours a month. You may find a month that you only do the weekly prompts, which will take a few minutes each week. There will be some months where you might dive deep into the resource library, spending an entire day or two absorbing material that matters to you right then and there. 

As with all of my live courses, if you do at least 40% of what is offered, you should start to see shifts happening in your life. 

There is no obligation to attend every call, or to always be active within our online community-space

You can never ‘fall behind’ & there is no need to ‘catch up’. It is okay to step away as needed. We will be here for you when you come back.

Is this only for female-born, cis women?2023-03-21T12:38:19-07:00

Absolutely not! If it was, I’m not sure I’d qualify! 

I am explicitly including trans women, cis women, straight women, queer women, women who feel kind of wobbly about being a woman, non-binary people who have been treated by the world as a girl or woman, mothers, non-mothers, AFAB butches and femmes who are creating their own genders outside of the male gaze, and gender-fluid people who spend a significant part of their days navigating social expectations of womanhood. 

We spend a lot of time in Unfinishing School untangling ourselves from the stories, beliefs and assumptions, we’ve internalized about what it means for us to be perceived as a woman in this world. If that’s something that applies to you, you belong here. 

I’m not queer/bisexual/polyamorous (or I’m not sure if I am). Is this for me?2023-03-21T12:41:16-07:00

Yes! Unfinishing School is open to a wide range of sexual identities, including married, partnered, unpartnered, monogamous, polyamorous, queer, straight, bisexual, gay, pansexual, kinky, vanilla, and much more. 

There is no requirement to hold a particular sexual identity to participate in Unfinishing School (or even to know what all those words mean!), only a willingness to share space with people exploring different aspects of their sexual self. 

How much of this is about sexuality? And why?2023-03-21T12:40:30-07:00

So much of the experience of navigating expectations of womanhood has to do with being perceived as sexual objects, rebelling against that, or both. In order to claim true agency in our lives, I believe we must address this head on. 

Sexuality is not the centerpiece of Unfinishing School, but this is a place where we can talk about it openly, as sexuality touches on so much of our lives, from how we set our boundaries, to what we feel is okay to ask for, to how we relate to our needs, to our relationships with ourselves, our bodies and others. 

I am unabashedly sex-positive and I believe that adult creative erotic expression and play belong in this world. That said, I also believe that your expression and play belong to you and there is no one script that will tell you how to be with that. Unfinishing School is a place where you can explore, learn and ask questions about sex, from a trained sex educator, without pressure to do or be anything in particular. 

What do you do on the Group Calls?2023-03-21T12:42:12-07:00

On each call, we will do an embodiment exercise, take time for group check-ins, and you’ll have an opportunity to get live coaching from Marcia. There will often also be a teaching portion as well.

Our Live Group Calls are on or near the full and new moons, and each one is about 90 minutes.

What tech platform will we be using?2023-03-14T17:31:32-07:00

Our calls and study halls will be on Zoom. All of the recordings, materials, resources and bonuses will be on our content platform, Teachable. Twice a week you will get email summaries and updates. And our community chat will be on Discord. (No Facebook for us!) 

I picked our platforms to be easy-to-use, and easily available. And my team will hold your hand through anything that’s new to you. 

Can you tell me more about the School Breaks?2023-03-14T17:32:18-07:00

Sure! In September and over the winter holidays, we will pause Unfinishing School for 3 weeks in order to rest and to integrate what you have been learning. For some participants, this will look like tending to other life business and ignoring UFS until we meet again. For other participants, it may be a period of choosing one skill to practice. For others, it might involve looking through some resources you’ve been meaning to get to, or reviewing content we previously covered.

There are no obligations here. You may get a few emails during this period from us, but otherwise, consider it a school holiday!

What are the weekly emails about?2023-03-14T17:31:03-07:00

There are two emails you will receive each week. One will be a prompt for writing or reflection. It may also contain a short video lesson. The other is a summary of everything that happened that week, including links to call recordings, highlights from the community forum, and reminders of what’s coming up next.

What’s the Study Hall about?2023-03-14T17:32:24-07:00

You know how you sign up for a course, and there’s work you want to do in it, but it’s hard to make time for it? Yeah, I’ve been there too. That’s why we will have one 1.5 hour co-working session (aka “Study Hall”) most months (usually on a Thursday). You can drop in for all or part of it, and we’ll get stuff done together. You can use the time for whatever you want! 

Study Halls are not recorded.

What if I can’t attend the Live Group Calls?2023-03-21T12:44:55-07:00

No problem! All Group Calls are recorded, and will be uploaded to Teachable within 24 hours. Marcia and her course assistant will be active in our online community (aka “The Living Room”) to offer follow-up support and care as well. 

There is no obligation to attend every call, or to always be active within our online community.

You can never ‘fall behind’ & there is no need to ‘catch up’. 

I’m interested, but can I talk with you first to see if it’s a fit?2023-03-21T12:45:53-07:00

Of course! You can schedule a time to talk with Marcia here. 

“I was tolerating quite a few things that were broken, stuck, or frustrating. I found that I was able to let go of the blocks that kept me from fixing things. Results: new hot tub, corner of office junk turned into desk, and multiple dates on the books to see my mom. Really tangible things I was just not getting to, but which make a huge difference. Love Marcia’s deep knowledge & enthusiasm.” – MS

Founder and creator of Unfinishing School, Marcia Baczynski (she/her) has been studying, teaching and writing about non-traditional relationships, sexuality and the nuances of consent for over 20 years.

Marcia has worked with thousands of people, supporting them in discovering their authentic desires, needs and boundaries, and building the skills to communicate and build intimacy, honestly and confidently. She is the co-creator of Cuddle Party, the creator of The Good Girl Recovery Program, lead facilitator of the San Francisco Open Relationship Discussion Group for 9 years, and the author of Creating Consent Culture: A Handbook for Educators.

Marcia works with organizations as well as individuals, consulting, coaching, presenting and creating curricula. She is based in Oakland, CA.

Register for Unfinishing School Now

One Payment of $2400
4 Payments of $600

*spaced 30 days apart

12 Payments of $200

*spaced 30 days apart

Registration closes on Sunday April 16th.

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