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Practical tools for extraordinary relationships.

HomeMarcia Baczynski2021-06-01T16:09:23-07:00

WHAT I’M DOING NOW

This is the quick-n-dirty reference to what’s happening this week on Asking For What You Want.

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This week my partner and I took off on a little #v

This week my partner and I took off on a little #vanlife adventure up the #oregoncoast and it has been fun, exhausting, wonderful and magical. Also a few scary moments. More about those in a future post. Let’s talk about set-up! I’ve been nerding out about car-camping since the fires last fall. Something about being prepared for recreation AND emergencies is super appealing to me. We are using my partner’s janky-but-reliable Toyota Sienna, and let me tell ya, this van can do anything. We set up the bed on four 24”x36” heavy-duty storage shelves, with the legs zip-tied together. The mattress is a 4” tri-fold foam Milliard and it’s super-comfy. With the shelves, we can’t sit up fully in bed, but there is so much storage space underneath, and it’s nice to not have to make up the bed every night. Solar panel is a 120 watt Bluetti, which plugs into a 300-watt, 500wh battery, which runs our fridge and other power needs. (More on that later). This is our first longer run out and aside from a few adjustments, it’s working out extremely well! I’ll post more later… let me know if you have questions. Researching this has been my hobby for the past year, and I’m happy to share what I’ve learned! #carcamping and #vancamping are THE BEST way to #roadtrip as far as I’m concerned! 😍🚙🌲

You don't have to be good at everything. You can d

You don't have to be good at everything. You can do things just because you enjoy them. You don't have to keep up with the latest thing. You can do a "good enough" job. There are far worse things than being middle-of-the-road or even bad at something.
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Perfectionism stops a lot of us from doing, being, having and feeling what we long for the most. Take the permission you need today.
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What would you do if you didn't have to be good at it?

Oh hi! I've been in my hidey-hole making a lot of

Oh hi! I've been in my hidey-hole making a lot of stuff behind the scenes. (It's about how to figure out what you want... and why it isn't about "figuring it out" at all.)
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I can't wait to share it with you in a few days.
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Also, I think I'll keep making permission slips. They are fun, and half the time I need them too. Is there something you want a permission slip for? Let me know and I'll make one for you. (DMs are open.)
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I did get my hair cut a few weeks ago, but I haven't gotten any new pictures I like, so please enjoy this one of me with ridiculously long pandemic hair.
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Also also, next week this account will temporarily become a #vanlife #camping situation, because I'm going van camping with my boo in the woods, then going to Portland, and I'm SO EXCITED for it. What do you think, should I post more of my personal stuff here?

Over the past decade or so, I have written hundred

Over the past decade or so, I have written hundreds of permission slips for people, both for students in my courses and as interactive art pieces. Probably the number 1 request I get is for permission to be angry, mad, or pissed off. You have permission to be mad!
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What’s your relationship to anger?
What do you want permission for?

I wrote about this recently in a blog post called

I wrote about this recently in a blog post called "Jumpstart Your Joy" (which you can find in my bio).
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As we in the US navigate this semi-post-pandemic/reprieve period, know that it might take a little gentleness and practice to figure out how to socialize, set boundaries or create the interactions you want.
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If you could use a little help with this, you're not alone. I've been helping lots of coaching clients set themselves up for this next phase of life. If you're interested, DM me, and let's chat.

It can be entirely too easy to dismiss the things

It can be entirely too easy to dismiss the things you like.
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You might say...
"It's not important."
"I'm too old for that."
"There's no time."
"I need to do _____ (literally anything else)."
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But those small things you love are *literally* the juice that keeps you going. When I have a client who doesn't know who they are anymore, or what they want or like, this is where we start.
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Because they ARE important. You're NOT too old. There IS time. And you NEED to do it, more than you think.
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(BTW, I have 4 coaching spots open for this summer. DM me if you are interested and let's talk!)

I am DELIGHTED to be participating in this free se

I am DELIGHTED to be participating in this free series by the School of Consent. If you've been curious about the Wheel of Consent, or just want some ways to get in touch with touch after so much isolation, this will be a great experience!
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Can't make it? Register to get your recording!
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Each session is an hour long and we start Thursday. Registration link in bio.

A little reminder that you don't have to wait for

A little reminder that you don't have to wait for perfection to do what you love or to get started on something you are passionate about. 💖

Three things I use for getting back into my body a

Three things I use for getting back into my body are breath, sound and movement. These are the pillars of embodiment. From there, it is often easier to remember the specifics of what you like and want. Here's how:
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🌬️ Breath 🌬️
You don’t have to take a deep breath necessarily. Perhaps instead, just take a moment to watch your breath and notice what it is doing. Then, if you feel like it, play around with breathing into your belly, into your back, through your nose and through your mouth. There’s no wrong way to breathe, so you can’t mess it up. All you need to do is just notice it.
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🔔Sound 🔔
Singing to the radio while I’m driving is one of my favorite ways to make sound, but to be honest, I didn’t do a lot of driving this past year. Crank up a favorite song, belt out some old blues tunes, or sing karaoke off-key. Do it alone or with a loved one. It is the exact opposite of trying to be good at it. In reality, the thing that really helps is to be LOUD at it.
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Other ways to make sound include humming, making noises with your lips, doing big, dramatic sighs, whimpering, shouting or yelling, and imitating animals. It’s surprisingly liberating!
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💃 Movement 💃
I’m not talking about hitting the gym here (although if that works for you, go for it.) What I mean is moving your body in ways that feel good to you. It might be stretching, wiggling, or going r e a l l y slow. It might be throwing plates at a wall or jumping on a trampoline. It might be rolling around on the floor or running barefoot through the fresh-cut grass. It could be as simple as dropping your shoulder blades while you wait in line at the store.
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💖 Read more in "Jumpstart Your Joy" - Link in bio. 💖

oh hi! I'm back! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I wr

oh hi! I'm back!
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I wrote you a bunch of stuff while I was gone. This one is about how to jumpstart your joy for post-pandemic survival. I think it’s pretty good.
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If you find it helpful, please share! Link in bio 😘

Starting tomorrow, I'm taking a couple weeks off f

Starting tomorrow, I'm taking a couple weeks off from IG to do some thinking, dreaming and more writing. Gonna delete the app and everything. This week is the thinking and dreaming... next week I'm headed to the mountains for a little writing retreat in advance of re-launching my blog.
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Tell me: What do you want me to write about on the subjects of boundaries, asking for what you want, desire, feelings or needs? Should I write about how to not be needy? Or how to tell your partner you are bisexual? Should I write about how to figure out what you want? Or how to listen to your gut?
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I wanna know! DM me or drop your suggestions in the comments!👇👇👇

Tonight: Let’s talk about pandemic grief, naviga

Tonight: Let’s talk about pandemic grief, navigating boundaries, respecting your own needs and clarifying your priorities in a shifting, half-vaxxed world.
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Link in bio. 😷😘

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