Practical tools for extraordinary relationships.

HomeMarcia Baczynski2021-01-24T19:01:40-08:00

What I’m Doing Now

This is the quick-n-dirty reference to what’s happening this week on Asking For What You Want.

Downloadable Workshops

We all need some extra support right now. Shop for on-demand classes on boundaries, bedroom communication, getting your touch needs met and more.

Follow Me On Instagram

Catching rainbows.

Catching rainbows.

@sterling_and_winks were the best Valentine’s da

@sterling_and_winks were the best Valentine’s dates a girl could’ve asked for. Very good boys!

All dressed up with no place to be...

All dressed up with no place to be...

Much needed break.

Much needed break.

Look who I met at Trader Joe’s today!! What a li

Look who I met at Trader Joe’s today!! What a little muffin!!!!

A little magic today 🌈✨

A little magic today 🌈✨

Today is a good day to read “Letter from Birming

Today is a good day to read “Letter from Birmingham Jail.” Addressed to clergy who had concerns about Dr King’s timing and approach, it serves as a clarion call to sort out our priorities. Reading his words in context is a great way to spend 20 minutes (instead of scrolling through cherry-picked quotes on pretty backgrounds here on IG... which is what I’d be doing instead tbh.) Join me? Link in bio.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the epithet “sn

I’ve been thinking a lot about the epithet “snowflake” this week, especially in the face of these criminals and traitors crumbling the second they face consequences for their actions.

Tenderness, consideration of others, nurturance, and engagement with hard, specific, individual truths has never made me weaker. Nor has my rage at the history (and present reality) of this country ever made me plan to overthrow the government in a violent coup. And it CERTAINLY has never led me to believe that should I try to do those things, I could then walk back into work on Monday with no consequences.

What being a so-called “snowflake” has taught me is to sit with challenging truths, to hold nuance and context, to give consideration to views that are different from my own. But it has also taught me that boundaries are necessary, consequences must be logical (not arbitrary), and that protecting the weakest among us lifts us all up.

Giving a fuck about other people is how we get to have a society. Bullies and traitors do not get to set the terms for the rest of us. I’m here for the snowflakes.

Remember to look up.

Remember to look up.

Happy Holidays lovely ones. Here are a few holiday

Happy Holidays lovely ones. Here are a few holiday shots that made me happy. #latergram #maskup #christmas2020

2020 Reflections. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I am

2020 Reflections.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I am a much better cook after this year, especially after reading Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat by @ciaosamin. Which I haven’t even finished.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I killed all my outdoor plants though.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I’m more patient. I haven’t had a choice, but I’m grateful anyway.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I’ve gotten very good at nesting quickly. (We moved two days before SIP in March.) and keeping things organized (no small feat for my impulsive brain!)
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I was already pretty good at adapting to change, but definitely played that skill on “hard mode” this year.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
But I’d say the skill I’m most proud of developing is the cooking. Because I always wanted to, and never made the time, and then when I had to, I did it.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
(Sometimes skills developed under duress serve us regardless. Also I should finish that book.)

This year, I’ve learned to lean into small satis

This year, I’ve learned to lean into small satisfactions more, especially on the tactile level.

Making my bed daily was, for about four months, the only thing that kept me from spinning off into entirely unstructured days.

Learning the patterns of the birds around my home, especially in the early, quiet days of the pandemic, gave me a sense of continuity and belonging to a bigger world.

I’ve learned to really appreciate a perfect bite of gnocchi this year.

Others: the way my disco ball throws light in the morning, the way one particular pair of joggers fit, slowly upgrading my kitchen setup, finishing a journal and starting a new one.

What has given you some small satisfaction this year?

Drop your info below and I’ll send you my free “Field Guide to Consent” + regular emails with insightful gems, practical tips, and immediately-useful tools on communication, desire, boundaries and nurturing your tender fierce desires straight to your inbox. You can unsubscribe at any time.